At a Loss for Words
by ambiguous101
Summary: Sometimes love wanders in without being noticed, and it's up to the parties involved to deal with it. Welcome to Kadence's world. please r&r. note: rating may change depending on the content of future chapters...not really sure where im going with it yet
1. Chapter 1

The first thing you should know about me is that I'm a survivor. I have survived a great many things in my time; like the time I fell out of my second-story bedroom window when I was three, or the time I was 10 and got hit by a truck while crossing the street because the driver ran a stop sign. I even made it through a hurricane while living on a boat in the gulf once. And I don't know about you, but I'm willing to bet it's not something everyone can brag about.

The second thing you should know, is that I'm one tough cookie. Yes I know this seems redundant after what I've just finished telling you, but I feel that it is vital in order for you to understand what's to come. Because not only am I tough physically, but it's damn near impossible to penetrate the wall I've built up around myself; forget about getting an emotional response. And that might mean that I'm what normal people would call a "cold hearted bitch," but those are they're words, not mine. And I'm okay with that.

The last thing you should know about me is that I am very proud. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going in life. And if I'm ever in a bind, I'll be damned if I let some freaking knight in shining armor run in to save me. I know what I want, and how to get it myself, thank you. The decisions I've made may not have been the best, but they're mine. And in the end, I'll get what's coming to me. And I've accepted that

Now I know it seems like I've inflated my ego a little bit, but I will have you know that I am NOT perfect. In fact I'm about as far from perfect as they come. Because despite all of my training, despite all of my efforts to maintain my boundaries and make my own way, I made the biggest mistake of all:

I fell in love.

I'm not really sure how it happened. I mean, come on, me fall in love? That's crazy. How can someone who doesn't even really know if she believes in love, just fall into love? And why is it called falling anyways? So that later on, after your relationship has pretty much crashed and burned you can just lie around having some sort of pity party because you need to recover like you've been thrown from a burning building or something? No no no. Not going to happen, not to me. As a matter of fact, I refuse to let it. There are plenty of other things happening in my little world right now and love is certainly not going to be one of them…

Except that it was. And I did. I took the plunge. Okay, so I don't know if I so much as took the plunge as I woke up one morning (quite literally I might add) and just knew: "I Kadence Renee Swanson have fallen in love…oh shit." And I remember repeating that sentence over and over in my head like it didn't believe it was physically possible; kind of like when your stomach tells you it needs to be fed but you don't really know what you want to eat, so you keep opening and shutting the fridge like something new it going to appear out of nowhere and its going to be exactly what you want. And after about an hour of arguing with myself, I came to the conclusion that this was all a mistake. There was no way I could possibly be in love. Not now, not ever.

Except that it wasn't a mistake. There was no denying it. I, Kadence Renee Swanson, was in love with Dean Winchester.


	2. First Meetings

**AN:** Hey readers! So usually I wait for a few chappies before I insert an **AN** but I thought now would be a good time to get it out of the way since none of you would know that being that none of my previous works are currently on the site. First and foremost, I unfortunately only own those characters you don't recognize. Also, I'm a crazy busy college student so please be patient as my updates may not be as regular as they should be. That being said we're about to switch it over to a non-narrative point of view, so any feedback at all on what you have read so far would be fantastic. And as always, keep reading!

* * *

But I am getting ahead of myself. It's important to note that while it's perfectly clear that I never meant for it to happen, it was bound to. I mean me and the Winchesters go way back…further than most. In fact, I remember the day we met as if it were only yesterday. And as corny as it may seem, it all began with a little song and dance…

* * *

**Homecoming Dance: Lawrence, Kansas**

"Come on Kade, you said you would."

Kadence Swanson stood at the edge of the dimly lit high school parking lot, wishing that she had stopped to grab her coat before agreeing to come outside. Even though it was only mid October, it was still freezing. Normally Kadence wouldn't have cared less; she loved autumn. There was just something about the crisp air that swirled little piles of multicolored leaves gracefully to the sky that brought a smile to her face. What she hadn't realized, however, was that this little "let's go for a walk and get some fresh air" routine that her date had been working on would turn into "you know what, let's get out of here and go someplace a little more quiet." And that was more than she had bargained for.

"For the last time, I said _no_," Kadence replied firmly, wrapping her bare arms around her torso, hoping they would pick up some of her body heat. She loved the idea of getting all dressed up for dances, but the longer she stood outside, watching her breath cloud against the cool night air with every word that she spoke, the more she realized that the girl in these situations always got the shit-end of the deal.

"Kade, come on," her date continued, "you're being ridiculous. It's not that big a deal."

Okay, now she was just getting mad. Who did this guy think he _was_ anyway? "It is to me," she replied irritated. "How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not going anywhere with you before it seeps into that thick skull of yours?"

"That's not what you said last night," he replied, trying to pull out all the stops to get her to go off someplace alone with him. Unfortunately for Kadence, he wasn't smart enough to realize that she wasn't about to fall for it.

"Did you really just use that line?" she scoffed, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on her hips. She was pissed off, and she wasn't afraid to let the world know it either. It was a trait few appreciated. "Just because I made out with you at some lame—ass wannabe frat party last night, doesn't mean I've been pining over the idea of climbing into bed with you."

He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off at the pass. She was far from done. "In case you haven't noticed," Kadence continued "I'm not like all those other cheerleader bimbos who let you jerk them around for a couple of days and then toss them aside like a piece of garbage. I have higher standards than that."

"Okay, okay," he interrupted, slightly wincing at the death glare he received for cutting her off mid-lecture. But he was over this shit. Clearly he wasn't getting laid that evening…at least not by Kadence, so why prolong the evening any longer than he needed to? "I'm sorry," he continued less enthusiastically. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"First of all, sorry's not going to cut it," she spat, clearly noticing the lack of meaning in his tone. "And secondly, what in _God's name_ makes you think that I would get in a car with you right now?"

"Oh I don't know, Kade, maybe the fact that I told your _parents_ I'd drop you off after the dance."

"That's _Kadence_ to you," she replied venomously. "And I hate to break it to you, but there's no way in _hell_ I'm going anywhere with you."

"Oh really?" he replied, getting more and more angry as the minutes ticked by. "And who exactly are you going con into giving you a ride home?"

"Me," a stranger said, approaching the altercation. He was about six feet tall, give or take an inch or two, with light hair and hazel eyes from what she could tell under the dim lights. Despite the threatening look in his eye, which she assumed to be directed at the brainless moron she had decided to let take her to the dance, there was something about him that made her trust him. He was a couple of years older than her she supposed, but there was something familiar about him that she couldn't put her finger on.

"You ready to go?" he asked, as if they were old friends.

"Yeah," Kadence said, backing away from what's-his-name. "I just have to grab my coat."

"Who the hell is this?" the witless wonder demanded, as if he was all offended that Kadence would seek an alternative means of transportation.

"I'm the fall back guy," the mysterious stranger replied with a shrug. "And if I were you, I'd either get in my truck or get back to the party before you do something stupid."

"Oh really?" the original date responded. "Is that a _threat_?"

Kadence rolled her eyes. What was it with men and having to establish their dominance by beating the shit out of each other? She was so over idiotic boys and their dramatic confrontations. "No," she replied before her "rescuer" had the chance. "It's a _promise_." She turned to the other, questioning his choice of dress (which reminded her a lot of the bad-ass guys in the movies who always drove the motorcycles and wore those sweet black leather jackets), but not complaining as he was pretty much getting her out of a bind. "Come on, let's go."

The stranger nodded, giving her a wink before placing his hand on the small of her back and leading her to his car. Her cheap date scowled, climbing into his truck and slamming the door before squealing out of the parking lot like a bat outta hell. He was pissed but he would get over it.

"Just so you know, I had everything under control back there," Kadence said as they pulled into her driveway. Yeah she was grateful for the ride, but she most certainly was _not_ some damsel in distress.

The driver rolled his eyes, noting that her house was only a few blocks down from his own. Who would have thought? "Uh huh," he said somewhat sarcastically. It was true, she had been holding her own. But there was just something about that guy that made him feel like he should step in.

"Hey, I can take care of myself thank you very much," Kadence replied, stepping out of the car and walking around to the driver's side. "I could have taken him."

"Right," he said. "You weigh what, about 110-115 pounds? Yeah next time you wanna take on a 250-300 pound football player in a sissy little dress I'll be sure to mind my own business. Better yet, I'll even let some sleazy _pedophile_ take you home out of the goodness of his little heart."

"Touché," she said with a smile. "I'm Kadence, but my friends call me Kade."

"Oh really?" he said with a grin of his own. "So you think me giving you a ride home makes us friends?"

"We'll just have to wait and see," she said, flirting back. "I mean I don't even know you're name so it might not even be a possibility."

"Name's Dean," he said, shaking her hand. "Dean Winchester."

"Like the riffle?" she asked with a laugh.

"Like the riffle," he replied. He didn't know what, but there was something about this chick that he liked.

"Well, thanks for the ride Dean," Kadence said, walking up to her house.

"See ya around, Kade."


End file.
